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Vacation...you're doing it wrong.

Here's how a vacation should go:
Step 1: Have fun
Step 2: Don't do laundry
Step 3: Arrive home, and do laundry

Here's how my vacation is going:
Step 1: Get a head cold RIGHT before you leave to see family, before the little vacay starts.
Step 2: Baby doesn't sleep all that much so you have little sleep AND a head cold...but you suck it up.
Step 3: Son says he has a tummy ache before getting in the car to start vacay. He throws up 15 minutes later. 
Step 4: Clean son up, get him gatorade and drive 1.5 hours in a car that smells like vomit. 
Step 5: Arrive at destination and as you are pulling off the highway, son pukes a TON, including on his beloved blanket.
Step 6: Strip son's clothes off on the side of the road in 40 degree weather while he shakes and daddy cleans up his carseat. 
Step 7: Put him back in the car, miserable and without his beloved blanket.
Step 8: Check into hotel, room isn't ready yet and might not be for up to 4 hours.
Step 9: Take refuge in hotel laundry room. It has no chairs, but you note the floors are easily cleaned if there is a 3rd round of vomit. 
Step 10: Explain to 3 year old that he is in a magical hotel full of fun and water slides, but he can't partake in anything until he can at least eat and keep down food.
Step 11: Get call from hotel that room is ready after about 90 minutes of waiting. 
Step 12: CELEBRATE!!!!
Step 13: Get to room and there is no pack n' play as requested for 11 month old.
Step 14: Call front desk and ask for a pack n' play
Step 15: Check out the different parts of the Lodge, always keeping an eye on the closest garbage can in case boy needs to puke.
Step 16: Rename child "ticking timebomb"
Step 17: Try to go to dinner, miserable failure.
Step 18: Husband starts to feel not so good.
Step 19: You called again earlier, but after returning from dinner there is STILL no Pack n' Play in the room. Call for a 3rd time. 
Step 20: WANT TO SCREAM AND RUN AWAY.
Step 21: Take deep breath
Step 22: Go to story time because 3 year old is smiling, feeling better and able to keep food down.
Step 23: Put kids to bed, praying little one does not throw up in the middle of the night.
Step 24: Put hubby to bed, thankful there are two queen beds in the room.
Step 25: Buy a magazine and vitamin C drink (contemplate wine) and curl up in the lobby, happy to not be cleaning puke.
Step 26: Check on family, everyone is alive.
Step 27: Go work out (truth be told, it's the only thing open).
Step 28: Blog about your fan-freaking-tastic day.
Step 29: Pass out and hope to God that tomorrow is better, it HAS to be better. RIGHT?

Comments

  1. You always make me laugh. Even when its not funny. Thinking of you guys!

    ReplyDelete

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